It seems the accepted approach to working on a “mental game” is to learn how to “cope” more effectively. Most clients enter into our work together with this mindset because it is the one most often written about and used. The way most people go about “fixing” their performance issues is to find more “coping” mechanisms. The following is an excerpt from an upcoming book. The dialogue below takes place through “Dan’s” eyes (the client). I begin this portion with a question and “Dan’s” responses are in italics. He has just spoken about a number of his performance complaints:
“Are you more interested in adopting more coping strategies to deal with all these performance issues you just told me about OR do you want to create a new approach that reduces the number of times they show up?”
Dead silence. “I thought the whole idea was to learn better coping strategies”. I said.
“Well, that would be the idea most people have but I don’t believe it’s the optimal way to go about things. This is why I’ve asked you the question. So, I’m awaiting your answer”.
Well, if I had a choice I guess I’d like to create something new and reduce the number of times these things happen…if I had a choice”.
“You do have a choice.” David said.
“Can you tell me why you asked that question?”
“Sure. Here’s one of the first insights I’d like you to consider. There is a difference between coping and creating and many people, out of habit or training, think coping is the way to go. When you look at what the word really means you’ll understand why I don’t focus on it. For example, the synonyms for the word “cope” are: “to manage, to get by, to struggle with and muddle through”. Is that what you’re striving for?”
“No, definitely not!”
“Well, that’s what coping is!”
“When you explain it like that it sounds pretty average.”
“Learning to “cope” means you are keeping your chin above water and it reflects the mindset of “just trying to get by”. It’s subtle and I want you to know you are capable of so much more than that.” David said. End of excerpt.
I just received the following email from a client who read my earlier book “Wired To Win” and then took action to make an appointment. The original email is longer than what is presented here and I’ve edited portions for the sake of space. He writes:
Dear David,
“Everybody has hopes that with just one more key, they’ll be playing like pros. On top of that almost nothing in the golf world really works for more than a few days.
I don’t know if you realize this but your material is the only thing that has made a lasting improvement that I can “count” on. More importantly look at the nature of the improvement.
Numerically speaking, this process reduced my scores by about 15% from an average of 81 to an average of 70!!! Years of practicing hitting drives, years of practicing putting, years of measuring how far each swing would throw the ball what particular distance but nothing was there to tie it together until I read your material and spoke with you and most importantly; it sticks, it continues to work and there is simply nothing else in golf to compare it to. So admire their (golfer’s in general) ability to hope because they have no way to understand the good you are out to do them, until they have it in their hands.”
Jim Fenney
This was quite a remarkable and unexpected letter to receive. Will everyone drop 11 strokes? No. We didn’t set out to drop 11 strokes from Jim’s game, it happened as a result of his expanded awareness and application of the principles I write about so often.
I invite you to take a look at your approach to the game of golf or of life. Are you busy “coping” with things like poor focus, lack of confidence, reactions to unfair bounces, stress, pressure and generally performing below your capabilities? Is your automatic approach to find more “coping” skills? Take a look and see if you’re spending time coping or creating something new for yourself.
THANK YOU!
Thanks to the hundreds of folks who requested the free PDF on “7 Keys To Play Your Best Golf”. This free offer will be made for the final time this week. To receive it; please go to: www.theflowzone.net and click on “contact us” and type “free pdf” in the comments section.
Copyright ©2006 All Rights Reserved. David Breslow is a Speaker/Author/Performance Coach who works with Athletes (PGA/LPGA) and businesses to help people perform at the ‘top of their game”. His approach is not “business as usual” and creates faster shifts in how people think, feel and perform every day. David has appeared on The Golf Channel, ESPN radio and has spoken to both large and small corporations across the country. To get more information or reach David call: 847.681.1698 or email: David@theflowzone.net or visit the web: http://www.theflowzone.net
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